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HELPING ADVANCE IN THE KINGDOM BLOG

Exposing & Evicting Shame

4/16/2020

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​Exposing & Evicting Shame is necessary for peace, clarity, and joy.  Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion.   Typically, shame is associated with a negative evaluation of the self.  Feelings of distress, exposures, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness.  Shame as defined by Wikipedia.   An article in Psychology Today defines shame as a concealed, contagious, and dangerous emotion. The article states it is an internal state of inadequacy, dishonor, or regret.  Shame can be brought on by what others or circumstances say about or do to you.   The other culprit is coping internally with failure.  Guilt is not the same as shame.  Guilt is an emotional experience that results from wrongdoing or action taken.   Shame is attached to a person’s identity, while guilt is attached to a person’s actions.


Most of us are no strangers to shame in one form or another.  This emotion of shame is very destructive and demeaning to the esteem.  Shame is a hidden emotion that desperately camouflages itself.  Shame can affect individuals on several different levels.  Christians must be aware that they are not immune to shame.   An individual can be publicly or privately shamed.  It can be done by people dear to us or complete strangers. The essence of shame has historically been with mankind from the beginning.  We can trace shame back to Genesis 3 when Adam and Eve realized they were both naked.   ​

Exposing & Evicting Shame: Shame has a purpose

​Many individuals fear addressing the presence of shame. Shame leaves an open access point for the enemy's sneak attacks.  Remember is Satan's purpose is to keep us from walking in our Divine destiny. Satan's job is to rob, steal and destroy. Therefore, Satan can convince individuals to characterize themselves wrongly. His job is to rob us of our divine identity by allowing the perceptions of shame to be more relevant than who GOD created us to be.   He steals our authority and constantly searches for an individual with a false inadequate self-worth persona.  That type of persona refuses to allow the forgiveness of past hurts.  Shame embraces past emotional trauma which hinders growth.  Hindered growth permits the destruction of our divine destiny. Destinies that people spend countless years trying to undo, fix, or justify their past errors.  A destiny misaligned causes people to overlook what is beautiful, what empowering things are waiting ahead.  

Exposing & Evicting Shame: grounds of walking in Shame

  1. ​Poor financial condition – poverty, financial instability
  2. Sexual Past - rape, molestation, excessive sexual activity
  3. Addictions – anything we do in excess
  4. Past Relationship - abusive – verbal, emotional, physical. Intimate, siblings, parents, 
  5. Body type, scars, disabilities – unhappy with appearance
  6. Word attachments by others – people speaking and perceiving falsely
  7. Childhood – environment and memories

Exposing & Evicting Shame: Identifying Shame

​Shame is a hidden internal emotion that masquerades itself in external outcomes. It can Surface in the form of negative behaviors and or feelings. Shame is a negative emotion causing stagnation, backwardness, and the blame game. Shame is a feeder.  It causes the unconscious mind to link every event where there was a shame. It is like a snowball that continues to grow until heat is applied and melts away.

Below are some of behaviors that indicate shame may be present

  1. ​Procrastination – habitual never wanting to complete a task
  2. Depression – constant state of sadness, loneliness, isolations, moody
  3. Addictions – over excessive behavior
  4. Low self-esteem – don’t see self- worth or value
  5. Lack motivation – detached
  6. Negative self-talk – very little good to say about self
  7. Constant frustration – easily frustrated and impatient
  8. Fright & fear – fear of being discovered & exposed
  9. Mentally beaten down – mentally worn out and discouraged
  10. Weighted down – feelings of can’t do or make things right
  11. Mistrust & doubt – feel people have ulterior motives
  12. Inability to have orgasms – ouch!! 

Exposing & Evicting Shame: Effects of Shame

​Shame can lead to long-term social, professional, and sexual difficulty. Shame has to demoralize a person. It has no cultural, environmental, or geographic boundaries.  Shame can affect the influencers, the affluent, the poor, the kind-heart, the bad personality, taking hostages.  

Listed below are qualities that may develop due to shame

  1. ​Focuses on what we don’t have – very ungrateful
  2. Create a false identity – pretend to be something we are not to protect our self
  3. Self-pity – blame everyone
  4. Pride - over compensate for the lack of
  5. Overly judgmental – critical of self and others
  6. Rejections – sense of not belonging
  7. Abandonment - outcast
  8. Instability – life is like a roller-coaster
  9. Lack confidence in decision -making - constant mind changing behavior
  10. Lack of sensitivity – hide or inappropriate emotional behavior
  11. Unable to forgiveness – need to constantly pound the nail in self or others- reminder

Healing Shame

​As we read the lists from above, it is easy to see how shame hides. Shame comes with clusters of other entities/spirits.  Shame is like an identical twin to those things listed above.  Many times, the focus is on one of the above lists, and shame is left untouched.  There is no magic pill or wand that will instantly eliminate shame.  Overcoming shame is a process that can take years.  However, as we begin the journey of evicting shame, we will have small victories and wins.  Shame is an entity/spirit that is damaging to success.  Healing from shame requires honesty, looking at our nakedness, desiring change, and willingness to be challenged.  Shame motives are that an individual never finds truth, identity, or purpose.  Don’t be ashamed to deal with shame. We have the authority to confront shame and be set free.

Exposing & Evicting Shame: Evicting Shame

​Evicting shame means letting the past be the past.  Shame focuses on what we did wrong, we serve a forgiving GOD.   It is a voice that we have the power to silence.  Shame works in the dark bring it to the light and deal with it. 
  1. Forgive – our self and others- we make mistakes
  2. Mind Renewal - people change over the years, even our self
  3. Let go of the hostages – our self and others. The past is the past it cannot change
  4. Publicly confess our shame
  5. Revisit our past/childhood
  6. Have a funeral for those things that caused shame
  7. Be conscious and stop negative self -talk and thoughts
  8. Deal with issues as they arise don’t let them compile
  9. Talk to someone
As Christians, GOD desires to cleanse us from shame.  Hebrew 10:22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
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​The scriptures tell us to be ashamed of the bad things we do, however GOD does not want us to live a life of shame but to confess our wrongdoings, sins, change our ways, and turn to Him.   GOD has a plan for us it is for good and not to harm us, Jeremiah 29:11.   He has called us I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14.  It is GOD desire that we attain our divine destiny and that we see ourselves as a light that represents Him.
Do not hide in shame from shame 
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    My name is Bola also Known as Coach Bola.  I love uncovering the promises and principles in the Bible.  I equally excited about  sharing what I have learned to help me become victorious.

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