This is the first year I will not have my dad for Father’s Day. Wow, we know, it’s a day we must all face, however it is a feeling you just can’t explain. Depending on the type of relationship, it probably leaves a bit of emptiness. I have a friend whose relationship was not good with her father. When he passed, unfortunately, she was not able to satisfactory make amends. Now, she lives with this added scar.
I woke up this morning and heard write a tribute to fathers. Like I stated earlier, my dad has gone to be with the LORD. It just reminds me of how important a man he was in my life. As kids we are develop an image of what a father should emulate. However, no father is perfect, I think mothers get more of a pass on that than fathers. We expect them to walk in perfection. As kids when we looked up at them, they seem to be like giant. A giant defeating anything bad that came across their path.
I think as we grow older, we still hold on to that image that our Fathers are giants that cannot fail. We idolize them, make them larger than life. A large than life image that many cannot live up to. We become disappointed. Having feelings of rejection, because this man, the man we call father, no longer lives up to our expectations.
This idolatry begins to damage our relationship with our fathers and eventually cascades into impeding ourselves. We have thoughts of, why must he be this way, why cannot he change. We look at friends’ father or tv dad and say why cannot he be like that or wishing he were more like so and so. Not even taken into consideration the person we may admire also has flaws that we have no privy.
He is a part of you
This child-like image we have engrained in our minds, we must let go. See your dad for who he is. Appreciate what he has to offer. I know some are reading this and saying well my dad was not in my life as a child, I can only imagine how you feel. Others may say, you do not know the hell he put us through, or some say he is a s.o.b. that I sympathize with you. Remember, that you are a spirit being and part of you is him. You cannot escape that fact he is a part of you. When you hold anger, bitterness toward him, you are attacking a part that is inside of you. A part that silently but vigorously rips you apart from the inside out. This battle causes you to be on the extreme ends of the spectrum, never having a balance. Being off balance causes you to fight for peace and a false sense of peace might I add.
I believe as we near the end of our life, we begin to have many regrets, and fathers are not immune to these regrets. I remember talking to friends who work in some type of nursing home or health care dealing with the elderly, they tell me how many of these fathers only see their children on the holidays. At the end their heart bleed, they have shame for what they have or did not do.
Make a Change
This Father’s Day, if you are not speaking to your father, find it in your heart to reach out. Think of it this way, when you begin to heal your heart, maybe your spirit may touch him for his to be healed so that he can become a better person. Many times, we as kids do not know what our father’s upbringing were to make him to turn out the way he is. Forgiveness not only heal you, but him and it stops that cycle from being repeated in your next generation. Your father DNA is part of you, and you are a part of your children DNA.
If you still cannot do it for him, do it for your children. They are watching your every move. Tomorrow is never promised. A time may come where it will be impossible to heal the scar.
The Time for Transition
You know I got to help my father transition into the afterlife, and I did not even know he was ill. He had my mom call me to ask for me to say a prayer. The prayer GOD had me say was very intense, that I had to call my pastor, it was about four hours later I get the call he had transitioned. I was used to talking to my dad a few times a week. You see tomorrow is never promised.
Your father cannot change or heal your past, that my dear is something you have the power to do, be healed from your past. So, take the time to heal your heart, to forgive and more beyond the pain. There is something good in all of us even your dad. You are a child of GOD and he is a child of GOD. I hope this helped someone begin the healing process.
FORGIVE Your Dad! if needed
My name is Bola also Known as Coach Bola. I love uncovering the promises and principles in the Bible. I equally excited about sharing what I have learned to help me become victorious.